Rainmaker Strategies

Business Coaching

Can One Word Really Alter Your Reality?

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The language we use matters … a lot.

It has the power to shape our reality … how we see things, how we experience the world, and how we act in it.

We tend to think of our use of language as purely descriptive. “The sky is blue.” And a lot of it is.

But the words we use actually condition our reality to a far greater extent than most of us imagine.
This is a broad, sweeping subject upon which many often mind-bending books have been written. That said, I’m gonna keep it simple here with a couple of basic examples.

The scene: A staff meeting. You present a proposal. Someone presents an objection. You have two ways you can respond.
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What’s Missing and What Doesn’t Matter?

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Stop and smell the roses. That’s the advice we offered in last month’s letter.

Did you do it?

I hope so. I did. I also engaged in some introspection. In the process, I boiled my thinking down to two important questions … the fundamental questions those of us who never seem to have enough time and are too busy to slow down and enjoy life would benefit from asking on a regular basis.

What’s missing in my life?

And what things am I spending too much time on that don’t really matter? 

Look, part of breaking out of an unhealthy pattern of behavior involves recognizing it, acknowledging the problems it’s creating, and resolving to do something about it. That’s step one. We took a shot at that last month.

The next step is actually doing something about it. And that something doesn’t have to be anything drastic, like quitting your job and moving to Tahiti.

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Are You Choosing To Be Stressed?

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Don’t hurry. Don’t worry. You’re only here for a short visit, so don’t forget to stop and smell the roses.

Walter Hagen

Walter Hagen was a very busy man. Known as the father of professional golf, he won 11 major tournaments in the early 20th century, placing him third on the all time list behind Jack Nicklaus and Tiger Woods.

He was a bon vivant, who enjoyed life, living it to its fullest. I suspect, based on the quote above, he was also someone who took things in stride, was even-keeled, and didn’t get too stressed about things, despite the constant demands on his time and energy.

I admire folks like that … and, unfortunately, that’s just not who I am … or at least who I’ve become.

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Can You Build Connection Virtually?

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There’s an old Aretha Franklin song called, “Who’s Zooming Who?” 

These days, the answer is … everybody’s zooming everybody.

We aren’t working side by side much anymore. We aren’t meeting face to face.

What are the implications of this shift for the health of your company’s culture … that amorphous intangible that’s so important to how well your organization functions and how happy and fulfilled your people tend to be?

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Complexity Doesn’t Have To Stymie You

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The words complicated and complex mean different things.

We often use them interchangeably, but that only serves to obscure the subtle … but important … differences in meaning.

An old fashioned Swiss watch is complicated, but it’s not complex.  You can understand the mechanisms and describe exactly how it operates with exact precision.

In contrast, human physiology is the ultimate example of a system that’s complex. What makes it so?

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Leaves Change Like We Change

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A zen moment …

I was looking at the autumn leaves on the trees in my yard, appreciating how they don’t all turn at once. The trees still have some green leaves, some in phases of change, and others fully transitioned to red, orange, and yellow.

Some are already on the ground.

It occurred to me that nature is illustrating a useful change management … and leadership … principle.

For the trees and their summer leaves, winter looms. They leaves must turn and fall.

It’s the same for us.

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Managing Attention vs. Managing Time

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You’ve probably heard all the tips for managing your time more effectively.

They make sense. They’re useful, and yet, when you focus on wrangling back some of your time, you’re focusing on a symptom, not the disease.

I want to go deeper. I want to talk about the need to manage your attention.

Are they related … managing time and managing attention?

Of course. But managing time has to be done in the service of managing your attention and keeping your focus.

Otherwise, all you’re doing is ending up with a bit more time and still no clear idea of what you need it for or what you’re gonna do with it!

The goal of managing attention is far more critical. That said, you can only achieve it by managing your time.

Case in point:

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You’re Doing Just Fine!

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I’ve had an uptick recently in the number of clients who feel like they’re failing … failing at work, failing at being a parent, failing at keeping it together with their spouse. Not being all they want to be. Not doing all they want to do.

It’s affecting their sense of self-worth.

If that sounds like you, let me grab you … virtually … by the shoulders, give you a little shake, look you straight in the eyes and say, in my most no-nonsense, but loving way …

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Creating a More Just World

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We all want to see a more just world. And our natural reaction when we either see or experience injustice is to get angry.

Anger can be a useful emotion IF it causes us to stop tolerating the intolerable.

But that all depends on what you and I do with our anger. It doesn’t matter if the injustice manifests on a personal, family, or societal level …

We have a choice. We can:

  1. Lash out in an inchoate and even destructive rage. We’ve all done it to one degree or another at one time or another.
  2. Respond in a thoughtful, peaceful, prayerful, yet still vigorous, way that seeks and demands genuine answers.

Gandhi and MLK Jr. had it right.

Trying to force change on the unrepentant, whose hearts are not open to change, simply doesn’t work.

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Marketing During The Pandemic

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Tough Times. Crazy times.

So, the big question is whether or not it’s okay to continue marketing your services?

Yes and no.

No, if it looks and feels at all like a “pitch.” Just look at how you, yourself, react when you get a salesy kind of message these days. It feels so tone deaf and crass, as if the sender is oblivious to what’s going on in the world.

YES, if your efforts are focused on reaching out to people, connecting with them and figuring out ways to serve them in this time of extreme need.

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Repetition Reinforces Memory

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You know, the great thing about advertisers, especially TV advertisers, is they never run the same commercial over and over again. What they put out is always fresh, new, and original.

Yeah, right.

No. They run the same *#@$ spot so relentlessly it gets to the point you can recite the script line by line.

It seems crazy. We got the message already!

Clearly, these ad guys and gals are pretty darn savvy when it comes to marketing. So, why do they do it?

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Why Do You Do It?

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Why do you do what you do professionally?

Is it because you love it and can’t imagine doing anything else … because it fulfills you in every way?

Is it because it pays well or offers tremendous opportunities?

Is it because you feel as if you don’t have other really viable options?

Look, if you do what you do because it’s fulfilling and you love it, count yourself among the luckiest people on earth.

It’s regrettable, but the vast majority don’t find themselves in that camp.

Most are either doing what they do just to pay the bills or because they see themselves as just flat stuck.

Now, let’s be clear. Who among us hasn’t found themselves unhappy with various aspects of their work life situation from time to time or even on an ongoing basis?

Precious few, so let’s not pretend the absolute ideal position even exists out there for more than a very lucky few.

And even those who love what they do have aspects of their work they’d rather not have to deal with … like accounting, managing employees, or trying to master baffling technology.

Every situation has its drawbacks, its annoyances, its limitations.

So, what’s the point? Why do I bring this up?

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Happy Holidays With No Stress

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I do my best in these newsletters to pass along useful insights designed to help you better understand the challenges we all face and what we can do to improve our performance, be happier, and find greater reward and fulfillment from the work we do.

But this month, let’s forget about the self-improvement and just focus on being happy and enjoying the holidays.

Too often the holidays are more stressful than fun.

I say nuts to that.
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Talking With Strangers At Parties!

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Holiday parties and other year end activities can be a lot of fun … for most people.

But not for everybody.

I regularly have clients bring up how they dread going to work-related holiday events. So, what’s the problem?

They hate the idea of mixing/networking in a room and many have difficulty knowing how to easily start a conversation with a stranger.

You know there has to be a better way than just sticking out your hand, introducing yourself, and staying, “Hi. What do you do?”

It’s not as if that’s so bad, but you’re right There’s a better way.

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You Need To Fire Your Boss

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Your boss is terrible.

She talks so harshly to you. The disdain and lack of respect makes you feel small and disempowered. There’s not much said when you do a job well, but plenty of criticism if things don’t go just right … and I mean exactly according to plan.

And woe unto you if you look after your own needs, you procrastinate the least little bit, or … god forbid … you make an actual mistake. You get absolutely berated.

She doesn’t do much in the way of providing you with the training and continuing education you need in order to really thrive at work. Whatever you do receive seems to be an afterthought, rather than being an integral part of a well-thought-out personal development plan.

And when you need some real guidance in terms of setting goals and priorities, and strategically managing your time … forget about it.

And so you find yourself just kind of floating through your days from task to disconnected task, not really making the most of your time, talent, or skills.

It’s a shame your boss can’t be more enlightened and just plain nicer.

Wait … what’s that?

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